A Proposal!

Dear Diary,

Every guy has dreams about the day some girl will propose to him. It is something that is ingrained in us I guess. I have thought of this day my whole life. I have thought of her down on one knee looking up at me with tears in her eyes. I think of the field of lilies we are standing in. I am even wearing my very best blue jeans. I think of her being willing to kneel in the dirt to set the right stage. I then hear her tell me all the reasons why she loves me and wants to marry me. I am so excited by this point that I am about to wet my pants. I cannot hear all that she is saying because sheer excitement has overwhelmed me beyond all control. I feel like the two of us are wrapped up in a cloud, and then finally she produces an enormous ring to fit around my fat fingers as she says, "Kent, will you marry me?" I tearfully reply, "yes, oh, yes, a million times yes!" We then hug, and share a tender kiss. That moment then quickly is a faded memory. Now I must fulfill all the dreams I have had about my wedding day, so I leave her standing in that beautiful field in search of a wedding planner to fulfill all my worldly wants and dreams!

Things don't always happen exactly as we envision them, but they can be equally special and beautiful. This is what happened today diary. I was talking with a group of people at work. I apparently said something that caused a few people to laugh (lol, I am SOOOOOOOOO funny sometimes). A laughing co-worker then said, "Kent, if you are ever stupid enough to think that getting married again is a good idea, I want to be your wife." Diary, you and I know that some people may think that wasn't an actual proposal. I know that it really was though. I asked the person, "did you just propose to me?" They confirmed what I knew with a laugh, and said, "yes, I think I did."

So let's compare:

• Certainly the field of lilies would be cool and all, but let's not underestimate the grey warehouse of a reputable and respectable business. Who can match that?
• So, she wasn't on one knee, but it is not like she is 6'4". She still was looking up at me, so, same thing.
• I was not wearing my BEST jeans, but there were no holes in them. Close enough.
• I was not really really excited, or ready to wet my pants, but I was certainly surprised. In fact, I was so surprised I almost did more than just wet my pants. So, it was even better.
• I didn't feel like the two of us were in a white cloud, but I did feel like I was in a dizzying fog. All that matters is they're both fluffy and you can't see anything else.
• I was not overwhelmed to where I couldn't hear all she said. I clearly heard every word and was even disturbingly lost in thought. But, clarity is important in situations anyway.
• While she may not have told me all the reasons she loves me, she did make a reference to me being stupid. That could be bad, but I think it is more important for her to be honest than to make me feel good. Integrity is important, especially in times like these!
• She didn't produce an enormous ring to fit my fat fingers, but there was plenty of extra cardboard for us to make some out of.
• I didn't really say "yes, yes, a million times yes,".............but, I did leave her standing there without an answer. No, not to plan a perfect wedding, but to continue on with my day at work.

I think after looking at these things, anyone could see it was perfect. Sure, it was not EXACTLY what I envisioned, but it was about as close as anyone could possibly get. Diary, I am sure some would consider this a really lame proposal, but you and I know they are just jealous!!!!

Life Can Be a Zoo

Saturday we went to the zoo. The weather was nearly perfect. Not too hot, not too cold. We had a fun time. After we went to the zoo, we headed to Park City. I was going to buy some new Spring clothes for McQueen and Tinkerbell. Apparently, quite a distance away, a power substation caught on fire and knocked all the power out to the outlet stores in Park City. So as to not waste the trip, we then played around a tiny bit in Park City and then went to Heber to eat at the Dairy Keen (Train Station). We had a really fun day. McQueen had a bad cough all weekend, but did not seem really sick otherwise. He stayed home from church because I was worried he might get others sick, but that was about it. On Monday we took him to the doctor. Apprently something in the air is really affecting his asthma. He has been hitting the nebulizer pretty heavily again and seems to be totally fine.

The Tiger just sat perched upon this bridge for quite a while. We have never been there when the tiger has been so out in the open. It is usually hiding away somewhere.
I am going to have this picture submitted as the cover for a National Geographic magazine (okay, not really)

Tinkerbell and McQueen loved the train and carousel the very best

McQueen is taking time to ponder the zoo after running all over it

I am so glad this special moment was captured. One might think this is simply a portrait of my buttocks, but they would be wrong. You see, McQueen had to go to the bathroom.........BAD! I kept asking him if he could hold it. I was constantly told that he couldn't. On the way to Heber, I had one of those special teaching moments with my son. How to go pee on the side of the road with the wind blowing, all while I helped to keep his long jacket and shirt away from the firing squad. Ahhhhh, memories to cherish forever!

• We were waiting for the doctor to come into the exam room. McQueen was vocally admiring and pointing out all of the Winnie the Pooh pictures and stuffed animals which adorned that particular room. All of the sudden, without even taking a breath, he switched and said, "now who wants to smell my stinky feet?" followed by his signature little smirk.
• McQueen was talking to my Dad. My Dad was asking about the day we went to the zoo and what McQueen's favorite part was. He honestly replied that his favorite part of the day was "peeing on the side of the road."
  
  
  
  
  

An Ode to Bathroom Keys

you are out somewhere
and your child really has to pee
you see the restroom sign
then realize you need a key

you quickly run back to the clerk
and ask him “pretty please?”
they give you some HUGE key ring
filled with every possible disease

they waddle back to the bathroom
just as fast as their little legs can
you better hope they don’t sneeze
while you run the hallway span

you jam the key into the lock
you turn it to and fro,
this is way too much to ask
when your kid just needs to go!

the lock finally releases
you fling the door away
the bathroom is not comforting
no one will enjoy this stay

you’ve all entered a dungeon
dirt and paper cover the ground
a wall with no graffiti might be sought
but surely never be found

the curious child asks so much
about the writing on the wall
you simply try to rush them
as they talk to you through the stall

you then move over to the sink
and wash everyone’s hands so clean
then see the key once again

and it seems so very obscene

but alas, you pick it up
and contaminate your skin
you take it back to the clerk
and he gives you a knowing grin

you then pull from your pocket
a bottle of hand sanitizer
you dump on a gallon of alcohol
now no one is the wiser

“YOUR BATHROOM IS DISGUSTING!”
you’d love to loudly say
as you leave every gas station
and venture on your way

in the end, shouldn’t it really be nice,
if there's a lock upon it's door?
dark, disgusting, and walls all tagged,
is it too much to want something more?

I have come to the conclusion that
no employee has ever been inside
for that key is totally useless
in that bathroom, nothing nice could hide

Easter Activities

NEW EASTER CLOTHES

Yesterday, McQueen and Tinkerbell got some new Easter clothes. It was fun to pick them out and the kids look great in them. As we were going to pay for them, McQueen was looking (with his hands) at a mannequin of a little girl. It was up on a pedestal and he knocked it off. It tipped over and the arm came flying off, followed by the aforementioned arm shattering. Although I was somewhat mortified by the whole experience, as I offered to pay for it, I thought it really was pretty funny. Sure, lots of kids have maybe tipped over mannequins, but how many arms have shattered? I guess they just don't build them like they used to, huh? McQueen felt so bad about breaking the girl's arm that he started to cry right after it happened. I knew he felt really bad. As I consoled and hugged him, I explained that this is why I tell them not to touch things sometimes (especially since this particular girl was born without a head AND seemed to have a terrible case of osteoporosis).

COLORING EGGS

Last night we colored eggs. We had a lot of fun, but the kids seemed to like shrink wrapping the eggs the best. They even made slurping sounds, as if they were an integral part of sucking out all the air, as the process was taking place. It was a lot of fun, even if the color only disappeared from our hands in the afternoon today.

EASTER EGG HUNT

This morning we went to an Easter egg hunt at a park by our house. They had a ton of eggs and even areas for different age groups. The kids got plenty of eggs and had a fun time.

Hanging with the Easter Bunny
Tinkerbell was excited for the whistle to blow, and the race for the eggs to begin. By the way, if anyone is wondering (as if anyone can't tell), I ALWAYS do Tinkerbell's hair myself. I tried this new little style today. What do you think?

McQueen is running like crazy to dump these eggs and go back for more
Here are a few of the eggs the kids got after the "hunt" was over

MOVIE

After the Easter egg hunt, the kids and I went to a movie. We saw the new Monsters vs. Aliens movie in 3D. It was actually pretty hilarious for both the kids and adults. I highly recommend it.

EASTER BASKETS

The kids are going to be with their Mom for Easter tomorrow, so the Easter bunny was so nice and brought their baskets here last night. He brought them some new swimsuits, candy, a card game (each), and these puzzles. They were so excited to put together the puzzles that they did it as soon as we got home.

I'll leave it to the imagination as to which puzzle each of them received

• We have a whiteboard and markers for the kids to color on. Yesterday, McQueen was coloring a bunch of black squiggles on it. He asked me if they were words. I said, "they are sort of words, but most words use the actual letters you learned." He then replied, "well, they are words." I asked, "well, what do they say?" He said, "how should I know, it is written in Spanish!"
• I asked McQueen to hurry and get his socks on while I did Tinkerbell's hair. He came into the bathroom saying he had done it. He then said "see" and started laughing, as he pulled up his pant leg for me to see MY socks which went all the way up his thigh.
• After the kids got their picture with the Easter bunny, McQueen took a look back at him and shouted, "hey, that is not the real Easter bunny!" I said, "what do you mean?" He said, "he only has bunny fur on the tops of his feet and the bottoms are shoes, I can see his shoes, that is just some guy in a costume!" At first I said, "maybe the Easter bunny needs to wear shoes to get around so fast." He responded, "DAD! Have you ever seen a bunny? They hop to get around fast!" I didn't really know what to say, other than, "oh, well, the Easter bunny must be so busy he needed to have one of his helpers here today." He seemed to be okay with that as he said, "as long as the real Easter bunny was the one who came to our house, that is fine, I guess."
• We were getting some popcorn at the movie theater today. As the girl was helping us, McQueen suddenly stated, "Dad, my bum itches........right in the crack!"

Conference Weekend

This weekend I just parked my kids in front of the TV! I know that this is not typically known as "good parenting," but I feel no remorse. Obviously we spent a lot of time watching conference. The kids were really good to at least sit and watch all of President Monson's talk. Although McQueen actually did fairly well at watching it, every once in a while he felt the need to complain about how "boring" it was. The kids did a great job coloring in some conference packets we had. They colored the ties of all of the Apostles. Tinkerbell loved coloring all of the pictures throughout. McQueen really loved this word decoder game where you figure out the last names of each Apostle. It was really cute to see because, while he is very smart, he usually does not take must interest in coloring type activities. Saturday night when I went to a session of conference, a lot of the cousins all got together at Grandma and Grandpa's, and had an unexpected Wii party. They challenged each other to games for a couple of hours and had a great time. Part of the Sunday afternoon session, we went for a drive and listened in the car. We drove up American Fork canyon as far as we could go (since all of the snow is not quite melted). Since we were driving around, I took some things to some relatives for my parents. By that time conference had ended and we wound up visiting with two families in my extended family for quite a while. We had a lot of fun talking, laughing, and catching up, and the kids had a lot of fun playing with new friends. We also went to a friend's house and hung out, and we laughed and talked while the kids played with their dog. The dog was doing all kinds of tricks and the kids were absolutely loving it. Needless to say, by the time four fun-filled hours had passed, bedtime was not a problem. It was a fun, though not super active weekend. We enjoyed and learned a lot from the messages this conference and we loved spending time with family and friends.

• When we were visiting at our friend's house and playing with their dog, McQueen somewhat mimicked one of the dog's tricks. Tinkerbell said, "Oh it looks like McQueen can do dog tricks too!"
• Often I will ask the kids, "Do you know how much your Daddy (or Dadd-o) loves you?" When I said that to Tinkerbell this weekend she responded, "yes, do you know how much your Tinkerbello (only with her real name) loves you?"
• When McQueen was doing his conference packet, he asked me for a different colored pencil. I said, "okay, do you want a green one?" He said yes. I then handed him a light green colored pencil. When he looked at it he said, "Oh good, I love 'booger' green." I said, "what did you just say?" He innocently replied, "I love booger green."

A Confession

This is taking a lot of courage on my part, but I can't stand dealing with this any longer. No one really knows, but I have a drinking problem. This is something I have tried to keep to myself, but I feel like I should let everyone finally know. How can I get help for my problem if I am hiding it from the world. While I am not an alcoholic by any means, I do drink an occasional beer. The even bigger problem is that I don't really feel guilty during, or after drinking it. I know that I maybe should, and that is even harder for me to deal with. So, some may ask what my real problem is. Well, I like to drink my beer from a glass, "on the rocks" if you will. Every time I pour it into the glass, it foams up like crazy. I have to wait and wait for the suds to slowly fall before I can pour more in. It seems to take me 20 minutes to fill one glass from one can of beer. You would think this would give me time to deter myself from drinking it, but I still give in every time. So, there you have it. I have confessed, and I hope you all won't look at me any differently. Oh, did I mention that it is Root Beer? That MIGHT be an important thing for me to let you know. Happy April Fool's Day!!!! If anyone has any suggestions for my drinking problem I would love to hear them. :)

Our SOLES Were Uplifted This Weekend

NEW SHOES

Tinkerbell and McQueen needed some shoes this weekend, so off we went to Sears. We found the beauties below, and the kids LOVE them. At first I think they really wanted another pair of character shoes, but I convinced them otherwise (and not because the character ones cost more). They ended up loving these shoes. I told McQueen that these were called high-tops and are awesome for playing basketball. He was really excited. Tinkerbell then wondered what her shoes were for. The smart alec in me, wanted to say for "wearing on your feet," but as I almost always do with the kids, I held back. I explained to her that her shoes were perfect for playing soccer. They were both so excited. I also found out that Sears has this sort of cool warranty on their shoes. Basically if the shoes wear out while the kids still fit in them, they give you new ones free. I can't imagine that ever happening, because they grow so fast, but the membership was free also, so I figured, okay sounds good to me. This is their first pair of sneakers that has laces. We spent some time this weekend practicing tying shoe laces. They haven't quite mastered it yet, but they are working on it. They also think it is a fun thing to practice. Did I mention these kids are already wearing a size 12! I don't know if that is big, but I only wear size 15, so............... :)

NEW TIRES

Apparently the car was feeling a little left out, and jealous of the kids. It would squeal and whine every time we went around a corner, give terrible traction, and other such fits. So, we broke down and bought some new shoes for it too. We ended up leaving the car at the tire shop because I thought for sure I would be chasing two kids around a busy tire shop waiting room for three hours. I even had the tire place change the oil (which is something I almost always do myself). Thirty minutes after we left the car, they called and said they were done. How is that for service?!!! They also did a great job on both things. I am sure that the tires are the bulk of the cost, otherwise, I would hate to think how much that place actually charges per hour! :)

BOWLING

Saturday night we went bowling at Fat Cats. We all had a ton of fun. Tinkerbell won the game with a score of 140! Everyone else was pretty close behind though. I am convinced it is her technique that clinched the win. I would place the ball on the rack. She would push it back and forth and say, "one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go,..... go,...... go.......!" She would roll the ball back and forth throughout the entire chant. I am definitely going to try it next time. I am sure that my arm would be so well exercised by the end of the night, that I could skip any gym exercises involving that arm at the next workout.

FEELING OLD

Sunday we were going to go to a mission farewell. He was a Deacon when I was the Deacon's Quorum advisor. Now granted, I had this calling when I was pretty young, but HOLY COW it still makes you feel pretty old when someone like that is now going on a mission! We drove out there and were right on time to his farewell. They ended up moving the date of the farewell, and although they thought they had told everyone, they forgot to tell a couple of people. They were so embarrassed and felt so bad. I just thought it was funny. We hurried back to our own ward and made it there about 20 minutes late to Primary. I am sure we just looked like slackers who can't make it to church on time, even when it doesn't start until eleven. I thought all of this was great because now I am not really THAT old for at least two more weeks. :)

PEEP ADDICTION

Tinkerbell has suddenly developed quite the Peep addiction. I have made sure to limit her to one a day. We brought these home the other day. She took a bite and she fell in love (I have a copyright on that phrase by the way, I am hoping that is just how things will transpire with a girl that I marry someday :) ). Luckily I am here to regulate this sort of behavior. I don't want her to have to go to Peeps anonymous one day.

• Today Tinkerbell was talking about the Easter Bunny. McQueen asked me where the Easter Bunny even lives. Before I could think of exactly where he lives, Tinkerbell stepped in. She said, "oh my gosh McQueen, you are so silly, he lives at the East Pole!"

Sweet Scipio

Somewhere about 150 miles from Salt Lake City, Utah lies the little city of Scipio. This seemingly innocent small town is, in reality, a smorgasbord for weird happenings. I am not talking the alien landing kind of stuff, just the odd and unusual. If you think this is just me, ask around! I can almost guarantee by the time you get to person number five, you will hear some weird story. So, I had to take a drive down to Fillmore for work today. Naturally, on the way back I had to stop in Scipio. I knew that whatever happened, would make for a sweet story. I had some friends stop there around Christmas time to claim a weird experience of their own. They left with nothing. I was confident I would be able to do better.

There are three gas stations in Scipio. I naturally chose the most run down one in search of my latest (and ever increasing) weird experience. I walked around the convenience store for a little bit, just waiting for something to happen. To my disappointment, nothing seemed to happen. I waited a few minutes more, got a Gatorade, and looked at everything else they were selling. It appeared nothing was going to happen. After hearing my friend's lack of a story, and then experiencing nothing, I thought perhaps the "magic" has left this little town. Then, I finally found this:

It is a 36" gummy snake. On its label, it states that it is the largest gummy snake in the world! It only cost $1.50! While I was a looking for so much more, I figured this would have to fit the bill for the odd and unusual. I mean seriously, who would ever think of making this thing, and better yet, selling it? This is the size of an actual snake!

I started to head to the front with my carefully selected merchandise. The cashier (who at age 60 or so, looked as though she had just smoked a lifetime of cigarettes in the last 20 minutes), was helping a lady in front of me. As they were talking, the cashier asked the other lady what she was doing down this way. The lady responded that her work had sent them down to a "conflict resolution" conference in St. George. The cashier responded that she calls those "hate" conferences. She went on to say that the only reason they have those is to stop hate in the workplace. She went even further by bragging that, while working at a True Value hardware store, she caused the whole store to participate in one. She apparently had dated another employee and they broke up on bad terms. She then proceeded to tell everyone they worked with that he had a small "part of his male anatomy" (only she used the textbook term). SURPRISINGLY this caused a bad work environment! She finished telling this account to the very shocked stranger, just as she finished the transaction. I stood in line smiling to myself at finally having accomplished my mission.

Just as the other lady was turning to leave, I walked up with my purchases. While the other lady was still there, the cashier said, "see, a good looking, strapping man like you doesn't have to worry about the size of your 'part of the male anatomy,' do you?" Side note: I often worry that in this world we can all get a little too desensitized. I am happy to report that, on some level, my shock sensors still alarm like crazy. I about choked and thought, "WOW! WOW! WOW!, did she really just say that to me?" I just sat there, not knowing what to say. She said, "oh come on, just look at you, I am sure you have a big one." WOOOOOOOOOOOOW! This certainly could not be real! I quietly responded that I have never really taken the time to compare myself to anyone else. She said, "well, I am sure you have nothing to worry about." Note to self: for the first time in your life Kent, keep your mouth shut! Don't fuel this fire, it is already about to consume all who dare stand around it! I thought how odd it was that this lady could say this to me. If I were to comment on the size of her chest, I think I would, and should, instantly be thrown up against the wall by the harassment police. I mean who was this lady? Does she fill in for Howard Stern when he is on vacation? I quickly grabbed my change, and my merchandise, and headed back to the van in a near sprint. For several moments I had to replay the events that had just taken place. I finally came to terms with them as I laughed in shock for the next 150 miles back to Salt Lake. Here I thought I would just see something funny or weird, when I ventured into the small town. Instead I was directly involved in the weirdness. Forrest Gump's Mother used to say, "life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get." Apparently she has never been to Scipio. That analogy on life's surprises is amplified by about ten million times in this town. I swear that their welcome sign should read: "Welcome to Scipio, The Weirdest Town in the Country." Eat your heart out Kelly and Stacey!

I Hate Facebook

Okay, so maybe "hate" is too strong a word. I certainly do not have a problem with other people using Facebook, I just don't really care for it. I had plenty of experience with Facebook through others before I joined. I didn't really have favorable impressions about Facebook when I joined, but I figured I would give it a chance. I deleted my Facebook account within a month of joining...........but, I didn't REALLY delete it because as they tell you, all you have to do for your profile to be active again is simply log in again. Some would argue that blogging and Facebook are very similar. Me personally, I would disagree. I blog to keep a journal for my kids and for myself. Certainly I want to share a piece of us with friends who choose to read it, but it is not a social networking type of a deal. Anyone who disagrees can look to the number of comments I get on any given posting. While I enjoy the comments I do receive, if it was just about that, I would have given up on this thing a long time ago. Instead, I post anywhere from 15-30 times a month. Anyway, I have shared with you that I don't care for Facebook. A friend sent me this great video that almost PERFECTLY describes why I don't. Even if you love Facebook, you may still get a good laugh at the video.

Swimming, Sandals & Snowboots, Speech, Strep

SWIMMING

One of McQueen and Tinkerbell's friends invited them to a swimming birthday party last Saturday. The kids had a lot of fun, and of course they love swimming. They were also really excited to pick out a present and then watch him open it. It was a ton of fun.

What a cute little girl!

McQueen and the birthday boy spent most of the day going around the pool looking for trouble

The kids are just waiting for the gun to shoot for their race to begin.....okay, not really

Some of the things my kids do make me think they are so close to walking on water

SANDALS AND SNOW BOOTS

Friday and most of Saturday, the weather was sunny and bright. If it didn't hit at least 70 degrees, it had to be close. Sunday afternoon through the present changed all of that. We had a ton of snow and the weather has been cold. The snow by our house was so deep I actually pulled the snow boots back out. I actually love that Utah truly has four seasons.........it is just a little weird when they all happen in one week......

SPEECH

Tinkerbell was asked to give the talk in Primary on Sunday. She did a great job! She was asked to talk about the important responsibilities of every member in a family. We wrote a little talk and we made two heart puzzles. One was the completed heart puzzle. The other was the individual pieces. She held up each individual piece and talked about some of the responsibilities of each person (Mommies, Daddies, Brothers/Sons, and Sisters/Daughters). With the completed heart, she demonstrated the love and spirit we can have in our homes, if we all work together in fulfilling our responsibilities. I love that they get so excited to participate in things like this.

STREP

IT'S BAAAAACK!!!! This has got to be the shortest vacation strep has taken from my body. I have commented many times how much strep loves me. I typically get it about every 30-60 days. The last couple of incidents have been roughly 40 days apart. I was diagnosed with it once again yesterday (the 23rd). The previous time I found out I had it was the 3rd. Yep, only 20 days this time. But wait, it gets better. I didn't finish my last round of anti-biotics until the 13th. So, really I got it within ten days of the last time. No one around me even gets strep, but I will get strep from anything. The kids get croup, I get strep. I am around someone who has a cold, I get strep. Basically that is the only thing my body will ever get sick with apparently. I am sure many are thinking I really need to go an Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist. Here is the deal: If I get 25 comments (from different people) I will promise to go. One could say that I am using my strep throat just to get comments because I would never get any otherwise. To that ridiculous accusation, I would say.....................you are absolutely right!