An Ode to Bathroom Keys

you are out somewhere
and your child really has to pee
you see the restroom sign
then realize you need a key

you quickly run back to the clerk
and ask him “pretty please?”
they give you some HUGE key ring
filled with every possible disease

they waddle back to the bathroom
just as fast as their little legs can
you better hope they don’t sneeze
while you run the hallway span

you jam the key into the lock
you turn it to and fro,
this is way too much to ask
when your kid just needs to go!

the lock finally releases
you fling the door away
the bathroom is not comforting
no one will enjoy this stay

you’ve all entered a dungeon
dirt and paper cover the ground
a wall with no graffiti might be sought
but surely never be found

the curious child asks so much
about the writing on the wall
you simply try to rush them
as they talk to you through the stall

you then move over to the sink
and wash everyone’s hands so clean
then see the key once again

and it seems so very obscene

but alas, you pick it up
and contaminate your skin
you take it back to the clerk
and he gives you a knowing grin

you then pull from your pocket
a bottle of hand sanitizer
you dump on a gallon of alcohol
now no one is the wiser

“YOUR BATHROOM IS DISGUSTING!”
you’d love to loudly say
as you leave every gas station
and venture on your way

in the end, shouldn’t it really be nice,
if there's a lock upon it's door?
dark, disgusting, and walls all tagged,
is it too much to want something more?

I have come to the conclusion that
no employee has ever been inside
for that key is totally useless
in that bathroom, nothing nice could hide