Interesting and Informative #2

I had such a great experience at work today! I will have to HEAVILY edit my experience to keep my blog G-rated or at the very least PG. I went to a patient's house and knocked on the door. Apparently the lady had been saying "come in," but I never heard her. She finally yelled "come in or I swear I will kick your 'rear end'." I almost let out a laugh as I walked in the door (until I was unable to breathe from all the cigarette smell) and said, "did you say come in?" She said "yes", and told me that if I kept messing with her she would kick my 'rear end'. As I walked in I sort of tried to explain and apologize at the same time. I got interrupted as she then turned from her place on the couch to look at me and said, "okay, maybe not, holy 'cow' you are a big mother 'trucker'. I think I will just lie here instead." I am really about to die laughing at this point, other than I thought the language was out of control. I thought for sure she was drunk, but after the whole visit, I decided she might just be that way. She was telling me that she likes to give everyone a hard time and has not had the chance very much lately. OKAY! I think I give EVERYONE I know a hard time. I don't think I have ever approached it quite that way and I certainly let people get to know me a tiny bit first. Anyway, I show her how to use all of the equipment and answer all of her questions, wishing I could get out of there the whole time. By the time I was done, I think that she thought of us as friends. She read my badge and said my name. She then told me I was really tall and handsome (her glasses were on her coffee table, so she couldn't see me very well apparently, OR maybe she really was drunk). She asked if I was married. I said, no. She then said, "well are you dating anyone?" I said I go on dates here and there. She said, "well when you get tired of all the stupid girls your age and decide you want a real woman then be sure to let me know." I am not sure if she was joking at this point. I tried to brush it off and I said, uhhh...okay, if I get sick of them you will be the first one I call. Side note, I am fine going on a date with any normal, attractive girl that is somewhat around my age, but I digress. She said, "well you have my number on my medical records there, I am not going anywhere." By this point I am starting to get scared. I mean the offer is so tempting and really I should think it over, but I just feel like I am not good enough for her. She seems just so mature and so amazing! Did I mention that she probably graduated from high school the same year as my parents?!!!!!! In the end I really love these experiences because it makes me laugh for the rest of the day. I know you all probably think I am too picky, but what can I say. The best part is I was just telling the friends I went boating with last night about the hair cut girl. I mean I barely even got dates in high school, suddenly I am a divorced dad and a couple of these people just come out of the wood works. Where have they been all my life? Luckily the hair cut girl shot me down so they don't have to fight over my attention.