My First Ever Road Rage Experience

Surprisingly enough I just had my first road rage incident yesterday. In thirteen years of driving, especially with the amount of time I am on the road, I am shocked it didn't happen sooner. So, yesterday I am driving around in one of the polygamist vans while mine was getting its oil changed. It was early evening and the traffic was thick. I finally made it through to the next place I needed to go (a patient's home). All of the sudden, some guy in an Accord comes screeching up and motions for me to roll down my window. I do, and he instantly starts screaming, yelling, and swearing at me. I found the man slightly amusing, but I instantly tried to figure out if I had inadvertently cut this guy off or something so I could apologize and be done with it. He seems to be getting more and more out of control by the second. Finally as he is swearing he is saying all kinds of amazing stuff. I finally stopped him. With a straight face, and in a very calm voice I said, "excuse me sir, but I don't even think where you said I had my head is even physically possible for me." I know I am terrible, but I can't help it, I was laughing so hard inside. Whenever someone is totally out of control, I think it is hilarious. My statement seemed to turn the man into one of those cartoon characters that turn all red in the face and can actually blow steam from their ears. After I continued to listen to his rant, sitting in my van the whole time, he then gets out of his car and threatens to kick my "rear end." Mind you that I have only said one thing to him in his 5 minute rant, and just been listening calmly the rest of the time. I calmly told him that while I have no interest in fighting him, I would protect myself. He starts to approach my door, so I got out of my van so as to not be trapped. As soon as I got out, he took one look at me, started heading back to his car and says that, "he will let it go this time." He then drove off. While I am no tough guy and would probably get my head kicked in if I were in any fight, being this big causes me to not have to fight (which is good because I am not a fighter). I guess that makes up for me banging my head into stuff more often than some people. If my size showed my true wimpy-ness, I would only be 4'3" and 79 lbs. Though I may not win any boxing matches, I think I would be a serious contender for most bizarre experiences. So, you are probably wondering what I did to set this man off. That is the best part of all. He was upset because..........I let too many people merge in front of me in the heavy traffic. He was behind me and this annoyed him immensely. I think I set up some medical equipment for this man's Mother. You can read all about that here: http://atalocationnearyou.blogspot.com/2008/08/interesting-and-informative-2.html

Sledding and Bed Time Stories

Walking to the big hill for a fun day of sledding
All set to go on the first run down

Snow angels after sledding

Here is another snow angel

and yet another

The kids and I finally headed over to the park to go sledding today. It seems like the weather, timing, sickness, or all the above has prevented us from going very much this year. We had a great time though, and were there for a couple of hours. The kids even made a bunch of snow angels before we left the park. After walking up the big (slippery) hill a couple of times I told the kids to just find my huge footprints from times before and step in them. That way, they would not slip. Just after I told them that, I had another ADD moment. While I am in NO WAY comparing myself to the Savior, I believe that is exactly what he tells us. "Follow my footprints and walk in them, they are the only safe way. If you should step out of them, you may slip, stumble or fall."

Tonight we saw the new movie "Bed Time Stories." I thought it was pretty good, and the kids really liked it as well. As I was watching with the kids, I was thinking. It is good, but also sad that my kids are growing up so fast. It was not that long ago that they would not even watch a non-animated movie. I was also pleasantly surprised that any Adam Sandler movie could be that clean.

• During the movie, A honestly asked, "Why is his head shaped like an oval?" about Adam Sandler. I thought it was hilarious because I think they even make fun of his head shape in "50 First Dates" or something.
• As we were eating lunch today, the kids were talking about how some people choose to act bad. T then said, "Satan is the king of the bad people, but Heavenly Father and Jesus are the kings of all the good people and things. I want to be a king like Heavenly Father and Jesus, not Satan."
• In a sincere way, A asked if, "Jesus glows with light like the temples do at night." I thought it was so sweet and I told her, "yes, he does for sure."

Broken Belts/Screaming Wee/Wiis!

Today I started to snow blow the foot of snow outside at 7:30am. I was snow blowing and then at about 10AM I started to head back to do our driveway. All of the sudden the belt broke on the snowblower! The kids and I loaded up and spent from 10AM until 1:30PM chasing a new belt. We went to Home Depot first. In a couple of trips we bought two different belts that did not work. They really did not have the best selection. Finally, we decided to go to Lowe's. THEY HAD THE BELT!.........,but they were completely out of stock. We then went to 3 lawn mower/snow blower sales and service shops. All of them decided to be closed today. I finally decided I would follow my passion for cars. I went to a couple of automotive parts places. I compared the belts that they had in stock for cars. Finally, at NAPA auto parts I found one that worked perfectly. So, if you have a Yard Machines A31u150E-129 snowblower, you will be happy to know that it uses the same belt as the alternator belt for a 1986 Toyota Corolla. :) I finally finished all the snow blowing around 3:30PM today. I showered and then decided to do some cleaning in the house. As I was vacuuming, I kid you not the belt broke...... We went right to Sears (where the vacuum was purchased) and.........found it right away.

The kids played in the snow a lot today while I was snow-blowing. I would pull them around on their sleds, causing them to scream WEE! When they were tired or cold they would go with Grandma and Grandpa and scream "Wii!" Some of my siblings all pitched in to buy Grandma and Grandpa a Wii for Christmas. The rule is that no one can play it without Grandma and Grandpa getting involved. The kids loved bowling and baseball with Grandma, Grandpa, and their cousins the last couple of days. Grandpa is dangerous at bowling. He has yet to bowl less than a 150. Grandpa has also been so great to us the last couple of days. For Christmas Eve dinner he made some HUGE king crab legs and we feasted like kings. On Christmas morning he made pancakes and eggs. On Christmas Day, Grandma and Grandpa made a huge feast. Then, the day after Christmas, he made french toast for breakfast. He is quite the chef. T keeps telling him that he should be a chef "when he grows up."

Merry Christmas!

The kids came home from their Mom's house last night at around 10PM. They went right to bed fairly easily (as soon as we laid out cookies and milk for Santa) in hopes that Santa would come. Santa came in the middle of the night of course. I ended up being really surprised because when I was a kid I am sure I would be awake by 4AM on Christmas morning. I kept anticipating, and waiting for them to come bouncing out there. They both slept clear until almost 9AM! Way past the normal 7-8AM wake up time! They are still little and above all else, I am sure they were totally exhausted from the last couple of days. It was so much fun to have them here first thing in the morning this year, and to be able to relax and spend all of Christmas Day with them (last year they spent all morning with their Mom and then came here in the afternoon). Santa certainly spoiled them. Santa usually brings one big present to each of the kids, fills their stockings, and then brings a few odds and ends. I always give them a couple of presents as well. Santa gave T a huge remote control Hummer H3. He loved it and was so excited the moment he saw it. He drove it quite a bit today. Santa gave A this really cool art table that connects to a TV or a computer. She also was so excited and instantly recognized it as an art table. It takes pictures of people or pictures of whatever you lay on its table. You can then add funny accessories, distort the picture, add borders, add graphics, make greeting cards, or draw stuff on them. It also gives you the option of playing games or just drawing and having what you draw appear as well. You then can save and e-mail things for people. It is right up A's alley, and she loved it.

I gave A the Let's Go Fishing game. The kids loved playing it, but fished by color more than anything else. Heaven forbid A get a blue fish and T get a pink one!

I gave T Operation. They had quite the time trying to keep it from buzzing and lighting up when they were performing surgery today.


Here the kids are opening presents. T gave A a Littlest Pet Shop Ostrich. A gave T a Lego jet. Besides the games, I also gave the kids "Kung Fu Panda," and Horton Hears a Who." Grandma and Grandpa gave the kids puzzles as well as some cash to spend. From their cousins they received a Scene It? Disney DVD trivia game. In our ward, our home teachers gave the kids "The Legend of Frosty the Snowman" DVD. There were also a few couples with grown children that brought by little treats and things just for the kids.

Santa had just stopped by! Even though this picture shows the Hummer taking up half of the love seat, it still does not depict how big this thing is. It is at least half as big as either of the kids.

VIDEO: I made this ramp for T to drive his new toy up and down. He was having a blast. Here are a series of driving school mishaps that were hilarious. It is a good thing that Santa got a protection policy for this thing in case it quits working for whatever reason. Most of the time T drove it pretty well though.

Overall, it was a great day. Christmas with kids is so much better than it is with just adults. I love seeing the excitement and light in their eyes. We truly are so blessed and fortunate to have all that we do. The presents are so fun and exciting, but at the end of the day, the blessings from our Savior are so much greater. I loved that the kids continued to refer to the Savior throughout the day. I was so proud of them. They were so concerned with giving to others and remembering the Savior's birth. It truly is the reason for the season. I hope that each of you also had a very Merry Christmas, and that you felt the loving warmth of the spirit of his birth this year.

Van Down!

Crash, Bang, Whiz! (No I haven't been watching 1970s Batman re-runs)
Yesterday, in the late afternoon I went to the Logan area for work. The roads were totally snow covered everywhere I went. Going to and from Logan, I was flying through Sardine Canyon at a lofty 18 MPH........both ways! I ended up making it home at about 2AM this morning. I went back to work bright and early. Today was nothing like yesterday (insert slight sarcasm). I was helping to load up some vans. By 8:40AM, word spread that one of our guys had just lost control in the bad weather, and crashed his van into a ditch. He was headed to Delta, and lost control on I-15 by Payson. By 9:05AM we had a second guy, who was headed to Richfield, slide off and roll his van within 60 feet of where the first one had just been towed out. Both of the guys are completely fine, which really is an amazing blessing considering how many oxygen tanks they were loaded down with (they are under so much pressure that they can literally become like torpedoes if a tank should burst open at all). As I was finishing to help load a van, they came to me and told me that they needed me to take care of some patients in Utah County. They told me that I needed to be to one patient's home by 11AM in Payson, another by 12:30PM in Spanish Fork, and another by 1PM in Mapleton. There were some other patients that needed to be seen as well, buy there was no urgency for their medicine to be administered. I know what you are thinking. "Didn't I just read about two of his co-workers crashing where they are asking him to go?" The answer is YES! There were three of us there, and they walked right up to me. Why do I suddenly feel like I am not loved at work? I think it would have been better if they would have said, "Kent, we just lost two vans down in Payson, and our guys could have been seriously injured. We not only need you to go there, but we need you to hurry down there. We can't afford to jeopardize any regular person in this weather, so we are sending you, congratulations." :) What is even better is that they needed me to haul a ton of stuff to our Provo location, so I had to drive one of our rear drive polygamist vans rather then my front drive caravan. I actually joked around about this whole scenario with all the guys at work (including the supervisor who sent me there). It is too bad that I disappointed everyone by having a very uneventful trip, AND making all of my deadlines. What can I say? I am blessed. I did however pass at least 8 vehicles between Salt Lake and Spanish Fork that had slid off of I-15 on my way down there.


A Career in Advertising?
Today while I was driving I saw a marked business truck. What was so unusual was that it was for a burial vault company. The best part was their slogan: "We are there in your time of need." I was laughing my head off, thinking that perhaps burial vault companies just should not have slogans. Then, I got thinking. Maybe I could just create a better slogan for them. So, here are some of the ones I came up with:

1. Burial vault company....."There is no way your ancestors will roll over in their grave when you buy one of our quality burial vaults for them."
2. Burial vault company....."By purchasing one of our quality vaults, you and your family will be able to rest peacefully at night.........and forever!"
3. Burial vault company....."Our vaults are a few heads and shoulders BELOW the rest.....like...6 feet below."
4. Burial vault company....."Choosing a vault for your loved ones can be a huge undertaking, let us be there in your time of need."
5. Burial vault company......"Your loved one will rest so peacefully in one of our vaults that even if they weren't dead, everyone would think they were."
6. Burial vault company......"Be willing to show you love them dead or alive. Give your loved one the very best this Christmas, give them a burial vault from The Burial Vault Company."
7. Burial vault company......"Our vaults are to die for!"
8. Burial vault company......"When you care enough to send the very best."
9. Burial vault company......"Don't you put your other valuables in some sort of vault?"

Please be sure to tell me what you think. I am thinking I might just have to change my major.

If I Was There

This poem was inspired by my sweet kids and their love for our Savior Jesus Christ (read the previous post to understand further).

If I was there when Pilot asked, “Whom shall I crucify?”
“Set my Lord and Savior free!” I would loudly cry.

If I saw someone mocking, and laughing in Thy face,
I would block Thee from their view, with a rapid pace.

If I was there for Thy whipping, to see Thy flesh torn apart,
I would do anything to stop them, before it could ever start.

If I was there when they nailed to Thee, a cross for Thee to bear,
I would grab away the hammer, before a nail could make one tear.

I would easily lay down my life, to lift the cross from Thee,
surely there is no question, Thou has done so much more for me.

But, I was not there, it can’t be changed, Thou bore it still the same,
I love Thee Lord, I thank thee, and forever celebrate Thy name.

So in this season, we celebrate, Thy ever spectacular birth,
our Heavenly Brother sent to us, because he saw in us such worth.

Christmas Church Clothes

The kids got some new pre-Christmas church clothes. They love them. As you can see, A looks beautiful in her new dress and T looks handsome in his new sweater and pants. Our ward choir had a great program in Sacrament Meeting today. The kids even went up and sang "Silent Night." They did a great job! The kids are going to be with their Mom until late on Christmas Eve, so we did some things and talked about the real meaning of Christmas today. One of the things we did was watch the church movie, "Joy to the World." It basically gives the story from Luke 2 in the bible, but adds music and movie footage. The kids relaxed and watched it with me really well. For our family and the age of the kids, I think this was a far better option than reading it from the Bible. The kids got very interested and even asked a lot of questions during the movie. They seem to really know the real meaning of Christmas and why it is so important. If only we can keep that spirit with us through the rest of this season and beyond.

• A asked me to help her color a picture today in church. It was a princess. I ended up coloring 95% of the picture (A only colored the shoes). She then said, "here Daddy, you can have this pretty picture I colored just for you."
• I asked T to be really reverent just before a prayer today. He whined that, "all this meeting is, is a long song, a prayer, a long song, a prayer....it is so DUMB sometimes!"
• Just before we started the movie today, I told the kids to come in by the TV. I couldn't see T coming, so I asked him to come again. In a cute way he said, "I am coming, what do you think, I am doing the mamba?" Where on earth does he hear this stuff?
• In a tiny part of the movie, there are some mean guys who reject the prophets. A said, "those guys are not very nice are they Daddo?" I said, "no they aren't are they?" T then said, "yeah, they must play on Satan's team."
• T was really sweet during one point in the movie today. The movie very briefly showed the Savior on the cross. T all of the sudden, with a little bit shaky voice, said, "Daddy if I was there, I would have helped Jesus off of the cross and stopped those bad men from hurting Him." All I could say as I hugged them both was, "me too buddy, me too." I am so often amazed by the amazing depth of my Christlike children. This is exactly what they are talking about when they say to "be like a little child."

Just Call Me Betty Crocker

I guess someone should teach the polar bears how to read huh? Sadly, I think that is exactly what I would look like if I went down.

I have dealt with quite a bit of ice today. Our front porch has become the apprentice to the local ice skating rink. I used this huge snow rake thing we have to bring a ton of snow crashing down off the roof. Then, I took a hammer to break up and clear the ice from the rain gutters to stop the slow trickle of water onto the porch. After all that effort, it only marginally worked, and the ice just seems to be a thinner sheet now. This morning the roads were still fairly bad around here. Grandpa and Grandma invited us to breakfast this morning. They go to the same place every Saturday morning. Every so often they invite us to come along. It is not the most amazing place, but they have a great Denver Omelet and the kids love the french toast. After breakfast we slipped and slid to all of the errands that we thought we were done with. I made sure to pull the emergency brake every time we were in an empty area of a snow covered parking lot. The kids love to make the back of the car slide. They are always laughing and loving it, and asking how I do that.

After our errands, (yeah, I think AND HOPE that we are finally done) the kids and I came home and made 132 (yes, that was 132!) cookies. We wrapped them up in the little holiday plastic bags and tied them with a bow. None of my bows or anything look very good, but everyone cuts me slack because I am just a single Dad. People are always cutting me a break on lots of stuff because I don't have a wife around to correct me. I think everyone just thinks, oh look, isn't it sweet that he tries so hard.....poor idiot.........he'll figure it out one day. After we got everything all together we took the cookies around to some friends, primary teachers, home teaching families, etc. The kids and I had a great time. I am sure the cookies were not the best, and probably all of the people we took them to could have made their own cookies that taste better. The phrase "it is the thought that counts" has never been truer than someone accepting cookies that I have made! At least I was helped, and they were delivered by, the cutest kids ever (yeah, I am pretty partial). Before we knew it, the day was over. I cannot believe how fast a day can go when you are having fun.

• A wanted to know all of the people we were taking the cookies to. Out of nowhere, she asked if I was going to take some to my High School teachers. Let me think about that.........NOPE, wasn't really planning on that at all. I just told A that I think we only have enough for the people on our list.
• A was getting somewhat upset about little things today. To distract her and have fun with her, my sister said, "maybe we should focus on a little bit of conflict resolution, you know what I am saying?" A sternly told her, "I would focus on conflict resolution if I even knew what that was!" That caused everyone including A to laugh.
• When I made the car slide the second time today, T asked me if I used the rescue brake. It took me a minute to figure out what on earth he was talking about, but I eventually understood and now I think that is a cool name for it.

Shopping and Snowblower Exhaust

Parking at Target was a little rough today, but we found a spot. Thank goodness I spent all that time straightening the Dealership lot as a teenager! This dog said he'd keep an eye on the car until we came back out.

Daily life is about all that has happened lately. I thought I would have all of this free time lately in the mornings with finals being over. Needs at my work altered that quite a bit (not that I am complaining). This is probably our busiest time of year. Doctors release as many patients as they can from the hospitals so they can be with family. Needless to say, many people then need medical equipment in their homes. After the holidays are over, we end up picking up quite a bit of medical equipment from the same patients. So, instead of waking up and going to the gym in the mornings on the days the kids are not with me, I have been going to work. Tuesday I worked 14 hours, Wednesday 16 hours, and Thursday 12 1/2 hours. All those days when you looked out your window and thought, "only a fool would be driving around in this weather," I want you to know that I was your fool for at least 300 miles a day! Needless to say, this has caused my gym sessions to remain at the 11PM-1AM hours. At the end of my workout, I even invited another guy shooting some hoops in the gym to play some games of one on one. As we were playing, I was laughing that there was actually another person who might be interested in playing basketball at 1AM.

Today the kids and I did a little bit of Christmas shopping. It is so cool to see them so badly want to give to others. They are so concerned with what we should get the people on our list. The kids and I have done a few things so that they can see how much more important it is to give, then to have all that we want. After we were done slipping and sliding through the roads, we made it home just in time for me to snowblow. I am not complaining about snow blowing, because it is so much better than breaking my back with a shovel. I do have to say, that I hate having to shower 50 times a day because of the gas stench. It seems to permeate everything! I am really excited that we are going to have a very white Christmas. I can't wait to take the kids out to build a snowman and go sledding now that they finally seem to be over their cold. They have loved just wearing their boots the last couple of days. I can't wait to put them in their snow pants and have them walk around like that little kid on the "Christmas Story." They only need a little help getting back up after they make snow angels.

• A was pretending to be a dentist today, including pretending to brush the teeth of her dolls and toys, while playing. She wanted T to play too, but he was too busy doing something else. A said, "T, I thought you would be impressed that I am a pretend dentist, but you aren't even impressed." A little while later, she said, "I am cold, but I am just a pretend dentist, real dentists do not even get cold." I was unaware of that fact.......but you learn something new every day.
• Out of nowhere today, A said, "Mommy has a Clorox wand in her bathroom, but there is not one in mine. I really hope she uses it on my toilet while I am with you Daddy."
• Right after prayers, as I was about to tuck the kids into bed, T told me he didn't want to go to bed. I said to him that some people do not have beds. I further told him that one way in which we can show how thankful we are for our beds is by going right to sleep at bed time. Both of them, then asked, "do people really not have beds for real?" I said, "yeah, remember how we talked that some people don't have all the blessings that we have?" They said, "yeah." I said, "well some people don't have beds too." In the most sincere, sweet voice ever, T said, "well, we have lots of rooms and beds at our house, maybe we could invite someone who doesn't have a bed to sleep in one of ours." I don't cry a lot (okay, that is a lie, I boob all the time), but I shed a few tears at what amazing, thoughtful kids I have been entrusted with by a loving Heavenly Father.

Give Me More, More, More

Okay, no one is really saying that about my blog! Everyone out there is saying, give us WAY less, less....OR........none! Once again, it is how I keep a journal for myself and the kids. No one has to read it (as if anyone is at this point). I haven't updated this thing in a while (for me lately one day is HUGE). I figure I will finally let you all know what has been going on in my life (sarcasm intended). Sunday we ended up staying home from church. While the kids were not contagious, I think they felt pretty miserable. I think taking them to Primary would have their teachers feeling pretty miserable after dealing with them. So, we stayed home and kicked it old school. Sunday night, we actually watched the "Santa Clause 2." The kids just watched "The Santa Clause" last weekend, so it was great when #2 came on the TV. The kids especially thought Chet (a mildly stupid reindeer) was hilarious (probably because it reminded them of their Dad). Grandpa wanted to do some fun stuff with the kids Sunday night as well, so we did. They planted/potted their own amaryllis with Grandpa, which has become a holiday tradition in the last couple of years. Later, Grandpa and Grandma told us all about a Rotary dinner that they went to last Thursday. Apparently the club asked one of the Jewish members of the Rotary to talk about Hanukkah. He did, and he gave every person a toy thing called a dreidel (don't worry I didn't know about any of this stuff either). We played the dreidel games and we all had a great time doing that as well.

Today we didn't do much. I played a ton of games with the kids to keep them entertained. When I could tell they were going totally stir crazy, we ran some errands before I took them down to their Mom this evening. I met up with a couple of guys from work at the gym. We were going to play a couple of games of 21 (no not the blackjack kind). The gym already had a bunch of guys playing full court games. They invited us, so we accepted. The games were pretty fierce, the language even more so. We had a lot of fun though before we all headed out to workout. I sort of observed something interesting tonight while playing. It seems to me that those who were able (or more likely, willing to push themselves) to run up and down the court, won at least half the game. What I mean by that, is this. Those who were in a position to make a difference could, while those who lagged behind, usually were not able to contribute. It sort of got me thinking of how that applies to life. If we are willing to push ourselves to be where we need to be, "plays" sometimes just happen. We are in a better position to help others and work as a team. We are also there to accomplish what we need to do. Sorry, just another ADD moment.

• Often I will call the kids "dude" and "dudette" for fun. I was teasingly asking T if he was a dudette. He said, "I am not some girly dudette, I am just a plain dude." I said, "oh then A must be the dudette." A of course heard me and in the sweetest voice ever, said, "how about if I am just a dude too, I don't really like the word dudeZette." Yes, she pronounced it dudezette.
• While we were watching "The Santa Clause 2," an Applebee's commercial came on. A said, "I don't even know why everyone likes Applebees so much, they don't even have Happy Meals like McDonald's." What is even funnier is that the kids both seem to love Applebee's and have requested to go there many times over the years. They even call it the Apple Place.
• At lunch time the kids were singing the Sleeping Beauty song, that says ".....I know you, I walked with once upon a dream...." They started disagreeing about a single word in the song. A thought it was one thing, T thought it was another. I was called upon to settle the dispute. When I said that I think T might be right, A responded with, "what do you guys know anyway, you are boys, you don't know stuff about princesses! Besides, Sleeping Beauty is my favorite movie, so I know everything about her!" How can you argue with that?
• On the way down to take the kids to their Mom, we were listening to and singing (lucky for you all my performances are private.....poor kids!) Christmas songs. The kids knew quite a few of them, and would sing along. "Oh Little Town of Bethlehem" came on. T asked if this was still Christmas music. I responded, "yeah, they are singing about the place where Jesus was born. Jesus was born in Bethlehem." A responded with, "ugh! we know that Daddy, everyone knows that, quit talking to us like we are children!" I laughed as I apologized, and asked, "well, how would you like me to talk to you then?" She said, "just talk to us like we are kids." I am still working on figuring out how to accomplish both requests at the same time, but at least I am trying.