Happy Birthday Kiddos!

For months I had been told that life as I knew it would soon be over. I would only scoff and look with excitement towards the big day. The day finally arrived five years ago today, at around one o’clock in the morning. In a single instant, I knew that what I had been hearing was true. Life as I knew it was over. I contemplated what that meant. At that single moment, I contemplated a lot. Tears began to stream down my face as I wondered and marveled. Time seemed to slow down just as my thoughts began to race. You see, that day forever changed me. It changed my life; it changed who I am, what I am, and caused me to once again evaluate what is important. I was now a Daddy to two sweet little twins sent straight from a loving Father above. Perhaps, a person who has never had a child brought into their life can never experience how you can, in an instant, love another human being so completely. This event did change life as I knew it. Not in the way many had described, but rather, wholly and completely for the better. I remember the birth of each of them so vividly like it was yesterday. As each child was born, tears of happiness seemed to stream faster and faster down my face. I remember going into the ICU to see a team of people working with each child. I remember watching all that they were doing to make my two healthy. I could feel within the depths of myself the distress that they felt. My heart broke as tubes were placed inside of them, wires were attached to them, and the workings of the medical staff surrounded them. Knowing that this was all for their good was the only thing that held me back from taking them, holding them, and comforting them. It would be a long couple of days before I could finally envelope them in my arms for the first time, to let them know that Daddy was here. Not only did I need them to know that I was here, but that I was there all along, and that I will always be there for them. Until then, I could only cry out within the depths of my soul. To this day, my heart still breaks each time they hurt, and it shines each time they are happy. I have an inseparable bond with each of them that can never be broken. Five amazingly fast years later, I have a beautiful, smart little girl, and a rough and tumble, and yet sweet little boy. Not a moment goes by that I do not think of them. They truly are my life. It is still beyond my comprehension that my Heavenly Father would entrust me with two amazing spirits. I feel so incredibly blessed to have the title “Daddy.” I contemplate just what that title means, and the important role I play. Every time I hear their sweet little voices call out to me, it makes my heart swell within me. So yes, life as I knew it, definitely ended. With this death of the old came such an amazing new life. I have lost nothing of value in the transition to this new life, but have only gained on an enormous scale. I gained a purpose far beyond my own. Life once again was no longer just living for myself, but living to love, support, help, teach, feed, and nurture two little people to grow into something great. So with the celebration of the birthday of my two best friends, I have to give thanks for the great blessing they have always been, and continually are, in my life.

TO MY PRINCESS

I do not have the ability to express in words what you mean to me and how much I love you. I remember you always being a Daddy's little girl as a baby. You would often reach for me to hold you, and your favorite sleeping position would often be on my chest. For much of your life you would not calm down unless I sang a song to you in my imperfect voice. You learned the "Daddy's Homecoming" song shortly after being able to talk. You would not only sing it in your sweet voice to me, but you would require it to be played each time you went to sleep at night. Each night before bed you would take my pillow to your bed as your replaced it with your own. I was happy for the exchange as I thought of you as I laid my head to rest upon the Disney Princesses each night. I cannot express how thankful I am that you have allowed me to be so involved. You truly light up a room with your excitement, your creations, and your sweet little spirit. I love your fire and zest for life. I love that you are still, and forever will be, Daddy's little girl. I love when you just want your Daddy to play with you, cuddle you, watch a movie with you, or anything else. I love to hear your sweet voice on the phone and hear all that has happened while I am away from you. I love to watch you dance your little heart out at each recital. Most of all, I love your caring attitude towards others. I love that you want to involve everyone in everything that you do. No one is uninvited when you are around. Thank you for your sweet little example and your love for the Savior. You are a sweet, beautiful, smart little girl. Most of all you are a special daughter of God. Always remember that. I am so thankful I can be there for you and be called your "Dadd-o." I love you Princess.

TO MY BUBBA

There is not enough words in any language to tell you how I feel about you. You are filled with so much life and energy. I love to play and wrestle with you, and I love your happy little disposition. You are one tough, fierce wrestler, but yet you are the sweetest little boy in the world. Your play time is filled with all the toughness of any NFL player, yet your heart is so tender and sweet. I love your constant search for understanding, your ability to comprehend things and the life you bring to every party. I love that you can see humor and have laughter in so many situations. You have always been a happy little boy. Indeed your laughter, smiles, and humor has always been contagious to all around you. You have always wanted to be by my side and share in everything I am doing. You have a fearless little spirit, which surprisingly, has not caused you a lot of injury......so far. I love your competitive little nature and your desire to try new things. I love that you are constantly looking to help others. I love that you cannot wait to experience life. That is a quality so many people either don't have or something they have lost. Never lose that quality. Continue to appreciate all of life's moments while you are in them, even as you look forward for great things in your future. I love that you and I are interested in similar things (especially cars) and can enjoy so much together. I love having my little buddy by my side as I am working on, or doing something. You are my special little buddy, and I love the way you say "I love you too Dad" everytime I tell you I love you. I am so glad I get to be your Dad and have fun with you as I help you to learn and grow. You are such a good little boy. Finally, I can always feel your close connection to our Savior. You have a great knowledge of who you are and where you came from. Once again, never lose that. You are a great son of an almighty God. Thank you for coming into my outstretched arms and accepting me as your Dad. I love you Bubba.