Child Citations

• I forgot to write this one last Monday as I was taking the kids back to their Mom's house. As we were nearing her house, I told the kids that I was sure going to miss my best buddies. I quote A's response verbatim, "Dad, we have been learning a lot about emotions, and that sometimes people have more than one emotion at a time. I am sad because I am going to miss you, but I am so excited to see my stuffed froggy. Does that make sense to you?" I just have a simple question. I mean I know time flies, but when did my sweet little four year old turn 35?
• This morning T and I were wrestling. I was pretending he was a pillow. He got free and then came flying through the air at me. I was lying down and just before he made contact, he aggressively said, "So, you want a pillow so bad, how about a B L A NKET?!!!" Then he hit me like a ton of bricks (well a ton of bricks that only weighs like 40 pounds).
• I took the kids to get my hair cut today. They normally have some kid books or kid magazines there, but today they did not. T (a boy after my own heart) decided to read a car magazine, A on the other hand thought "Redbook" would be a good magazine no matter how much I told her it wasn't. She wanted me to read it to her while we were waiting. I told her she was only showing me advertisements. She said, "Daddy, just read it." So, I read, "Oil of Olay's new rejuvenating facial cream can remove lines and other signs of aging." They both started laughing so hard. She then had me read another ad. I read, "The Chevrolet Traverse has more cargo capacity than any vehicle in its class, while still getting an EPA estimated 24 MPG on the road." They both started laughing again, followed by T saying that I "make up the funniest stuff ever."
• Later A decided she wanted to read Reader's Digest, because "it is so cute and little." She turned to an ad for some feminine hygiene products. She instantly held it up for everyone to see and shouted, "look Dad, an ad for diapers for ladies!" I politely tried to tell her that was neat, while trying to get her to be quiet. There were two ladies sitting there waiting for a haircut, and two ladies cutting hair. I was the only (very uncomfortable) guy in the room besides T. Just so everyone is clear, I NEVER taught her that.