Father's Day

Father's Day always brings so many thoughts and feelings into my head. I have so much to be thankful for when it comes to Fathers/Fatherhood. Anyone who knows me well can tell, I am far from perfect. One thing I believe I am very aware of is a knowledge that all good things come from a loving Heavenly Father. Some of the trials and things come from our Heavenly Father as well, but that is only to bring about the good inside of us. I am thankful that he knows me so well and knows what is best for me. He gives me everything I need and yet does not give me the things which are not for my good.

I have the most wonderful earthly Father in the world. If that seems like a bold statement, it is. It is also true. My Dad is my hero. He is a beacon of strength in every situation. I know he is not perfect, yet he is as close as anyone I know personally. Being around someone as a son is around their Dad would cause more and more imperfections to shine through. While he may have slight, tiny flaws, he is the most true man I know. He never seems to have to struggle with what is right or wrong, that almost pefect knowledge seems to have been embedded within him at birth. He is successful, wise, strong, talented, and gifted. However, more importantly, he is a spiritual giant among men. He is gentle and kind to all, even when someone has treated him poorly or taken advantage of him. He seems to have the attitude, that someone can only be taking advantage of you, if YOU let yourself think they're taking advantage of you. He has the patience of Job. He is soft-spoken, hilarious, and there for anyone. He has a way of seeing others needs before they do. He sees a need and fills it before anyone around him knows what is going on. He definitely has served in many public ways, yet I am constantly amazed with how much he serves and all he gives when he thinks no one is looking. There has not been a food drive that has ever gone by where my parents didn't load up the back of the car at Costco to donate to it. I have heard multiple people comment that he was their favorite home teacher. I have never heard anyone speak ill of him, and I cannot imagine anyone truthfully being able to. Truly, the more I am around him, the more perfect that I see he is. Most people's imperfections tend to show through the more someone is around them. He is just the opposite. He could never possibly know how much I love, respect, and revere him.

I love being a Daddy. The word Daddy (and Dadd-o) seems so childish in some ways, but it has become the sweetest word in the world to me over the last 5 1/2 years. I love my children more than I can express in words. Once again, what an incredible blessing given to me by my loving Father in Heaven. My kids mean the world to me. I want to be there for them in every way. I loved this Father's Day and the time I spent with them. While I loved all the shirts and gifts that my family helped the kids buy, nothing compared to a Father's Day hug and hearing my kids sweet voices sing songs to me at church. McQueen and Tinkerbell have changed my life in more ways than I could have ever imagined. They continually make positive, everlasting, impacts upon me. I can easily recognize their imperfections, tantrums, etc. Although I seek to teach them correctly, I love them for who they are. I do not ever look at a beautiful glass sculpture, and think, "yeah, but it is only made of sand!" Likewise, with my kids, I see all that is beautiful, wonderful, and amazing within them. I love them completely for everything their little minds, spirits, and bodies possess. I want to strive to be better, to live better, and to act better because I am their Dad. I want them to know more than anything else of my love for them. I want them to learn, to enjoy life, and especially, to laugh. Not a day goes by where I don't express my thanks for the blessing of being a Father to these two sweet spirits, given to me by a loving Father above.

The Chalk Festival

We spent a ton of time at the chalk festival today. It was a great time. This is the second year that we have gone. It is a really fun, free, family friendly event. There are amazing chalk images that people draw right on the road at the Gateway. Most of them were drawn by teens or younger! There are also tons of booths set up where the kids could participate in little things, or win things. We walked around for quite a while and we managed to avoid most of the rain. We only felt tiny sprinkles, and the temperature was really not bad at all. We left just before the major downpour. I luckily brought my camera this year and I was able to capture a ton of the art work (I included a tiny sampling below). Most of the artwork was protected from the rain in one way or another, so they weren't washed away. Who ever thought anyone could draw this well with chalk?!! It has definitely become one of our favorite traditions.

This was the kid's favorite booth. There was a baseball, football, and basketball to "pass" to the blow-up athletes. That would be my kids who refused to change from their shorts/capris to pants.

Look at that baby! I think he sort of looks like John Goodman.

The frog pond

Don't know what this dragon thing is, but it is SWEEEEEET!!

Someone even drew a scene from "UP!"

"Where the Wild Things Are"

Tinkerbell's favorite! She LOVES butterflies!

Some sweet castle or something

That is one jacked up lollipop. Cool and all, just looks like part of a Tim Burton movie.

Some wavy, red-haired chick

Surprise! Tinkerbell loved this one too!

It Can't Wait One Week?

I am all scheduled to have my tonsils and adenoids removed Wednesday June 24th. I have had this appointment for over a month now. On Sunday, the 7th I got strep once again. I was really ticked because I figured I was so close to the surgery that I should not get strep anymore. At the time, I talked the doctor into giving me enough antibiotics to last me up until surgery. He was more than happy to oblige. Fast forward to yesterday. I have been taking the medicine exactly as I should for the last ten days. I have slowly just felt worse, not better. I felt like my throat was closing off, my body ached, and if anyone has had a more difficult time swallowing, I pity them with every fiber of my being. I went to the doctor. Here's the verdict: Apparently my body has developed a resistance to the antibiotics, so they were not killing the strep at all. Because of all of this, my tonsils have started to swell (and even bleed a little) to the point that it is starting to close off my throat. So, he gave me a shot of a really strong antibiotic. He then gave me another antibiotic in pill form. Finally, he gave me a steroid to bring down the swelling in my tonsils. SERIOUSLY?!!!! I am a week away from the surgery and my tonsils decide to pull this? They really are sick; in every sense of the word! I have never thought I could be so excited to have surgery in my life, but I am. All of this is ridiculous! To anyone who gets strep more than 4 times in one year or 6 times in two years, every ENT in the country will recommend you have your tonsils removed. Also, unlike what past doctors have told me, the size of your tonsils really has nothing to do with the medical decision to have them removed. Apparently the more you get strep the worse the procedure could possibly be because strep leaves scar tissue. This is all information that would have been helpful to me for, oh, I don't know, the last EIGHT YEARS!! Therefore, I am passing it along. If you do have to get your tonsils removed, look for an ENT who removes them through the process of coblation, as opposed to one who cuts them out or burns them off. After watching some videos, it seems like a way better alternative.

Zooing it UP!

Friday

This last weekend, we had a ton of fun. On Friday night we went to dinner with some friends and then just spent time hanging out with them. The kids of course, especially love to play with their dog. The kids saw the original "Star Wars" this weekend as well. It wasn't until I started looking at them that I noticed that the original three are rated PG. I know the latest ones are PG-13, so they will remain off limits, but the old ones are the better movies anyway. I knew McQueen would probably like it, but Tinkerbell loved it as well! They keep asking when they will be able to watch it again.

Saturday

Saturday we got as many of the kids' cousins together as we could and we all went to see "UP!" together. It is such a great movie for kids and adults alike. It actually has some sad, tender moments, but has such an incredible message. We highly recommend it to anyone. The whole experience was made so much better by being able to go with the cousins as well.

Sunday

Sunday we went to a different ward to hear a returning missionary report on his mission. He did a great job reporting on his mission and it is easy to tell that he worked hard while he was in the field. We are probably starting to look like the inactive family in our own ward. We missed going to our own ward the previous week as well because the kids were on vacation with their Mom, and I had strep. While we were there, however, we ran into some newly returned missionaries from our own ward. They are apparently friends with him and had come to hear him speak. What a small world. At least, we have someone to corroborate our story that we weren't simply skipping church.

Monday

Monday, we went to the zoo with a bunch of friends. The kids were able to meet new friends, because I have literally not done anything with these friends in years! We all had a great time. The kids really love the zoo, despite us going there quite a bit, to make good use of our zoo pass. They seem to see or notice something different every time. It is really fun to watch their little minds work.

We took this picture last September when we apparently must have stumbled on the major feeding day for the zoo. Not only did we get to see this sweet looking rabbit, but we also got to see a leopard eating meat off of some animals bones. The reason I share this once again, is because apparently this huge python is no longer with us. They now have birds or something flying around in what used to be his cage. He will surely be missed as he was one of the only reasons I would ever go in the nasty smelling building that houses the snakes at the zoo.

My Special Visitor

A very special visitor has come to see me again. Yep, that is right, my strep throat is back again. If I figure correctly, that makes AT LEAST 8-10 times since January. After six years of these kind of visits, from a friend I really don't care for anyway, I am taking drastic measures. I am having a doctor cut out parts of my body, just to get rid of it. In fact, the surgery has been scheduled since the last time I got strep. It just couldn't resist visiting at least once more. Later this month though, I look forward to going through time off work, a lot of money, and tons of pain in an attempt to rid this friend from my life forever.

Training Day #2

If you have not previously read the original training day, please read that before reading this post, or else this will not make ANY sense to you. Lesbians, lesbians everywhere! Today was day two of my training day with my lesbian friend. We actually are having some fun and it really is not too bad hanging out with her. We have a lot in common, but strictly in a platonic relationship kind of way. We drove all around talking about cars, engines, sports, politics, etc. It is like any typical guy conversation, where every guy tries to "one-up" all the others with some sort of story or another. So, yes, I think it is really pretty cool. I previously stated that I don't care if she is a lesbian or not, but I was missing the boat. I think that she may just turn out to be one of my best guy friends!

Today one of our first stops was to pick-up some equipment from a school. While we were there, we ran into a friend who is ALSO a lesbian! I rarely ever see her, and I didn't know that was her workplace. I kept wondering what the chances were that we three lesbians, could all be hanging out at one place together. Of course, the lesbian I was training only knows that I am a lesbian. She had no idea that the girl we ran into was as well. I sort of felt like I was George on a certain episode of Seinfeld. He basically is trying to prove that he likes black people, so he pays black people to hang out with him in front of another black man. When we got back to the van, I made sure to plug that the friend she just met and her WIFE have a ten year old little girl. The girl I was training, incredulously asked, "her wife, huh?" I said, "yep, they have been together for like fifteen years, they had their daughter through artificial insemination." She replied, "oh, that is cool!" Finally I feel like I have been accepted into the lesbian culture. AND why shouldn't I be?!! I am more lesbian than anyone I know! So, as our day progressed, she actually asked about one of our male co-workers. She said, "what is his story, I mean, he seems to have a 'limp wrist' huh?" If this was anyone that I have known for more than two days, I probably would have faked an offended look on my face and said, "no, I DON'T know what you mean." Instead, I told her that it is possible, but I am 80% sure that the ligaments in his wrist are solid. How is it that she can say something like "limp-wrist" when I have been on guard not to let anything that could even be taken the wrong way slip out of my mouth? Okay, I do have to say that she is very open about being a lesbian. As I said, she is really a cool person, and it is not that bad cruising around all day. We can talk about all the guy/lesbian stuff, like working on cars, fixing stuff, being attracted to women, etc....... I just feel like every day so far has been an education. It has left me wondering just who has been training who......

Training Day

Last Thursday my boss came to me to inform me that I would spend the next couple of months training the new employee who would start the following Tuesday (today). I said, alright, that is fine. I will teach them everything I know, and then if they do the exact opposite, they should know this job perfectly! As the conversation went on, he informed me that they had hired a woman. At this point I had some serious reservations. I asked if she was married. He said, he didn't know because he was not allowed to ask that. I told him that I am not sure I feel comfortable driving all over the state with another woman who I do not know from Adam. I don't feel that I am going to do anything wrong, but the whole thing just makes me very uncomfortable. He tried really hard to assure me........and.......was COMPLETELY unsuccessful. Now, fast-forward to the present. Today is the day that I meet her. She seems nice. I show her all around the warehouse and explain some things to her. While we are going around through the warehouse we meet this particular, single co-worker of mine. He is a great guy, but can be hilarious at times. Let's just say that he seems to be more interested in the new women employees more than the men. So, she stated that she was from California. He started to go into a spiel about how he worked in San Francisco for a while. Just to mess with him (and shew him away), I said, "oh is that when you were a gay male gigolo because you just couldn't get enough of that sweet man love? You only charged each client like a nickel or something, right?" He didn't think it was nearly as funny as everyone else for some reason, but he is a good sport and thought it was somewhat funny nonetheless. Eventually, I am driving in the van with the new girl to Heber to do some work. As we are driving, we are making small talk. I asked her what brought her from California to Utah. She replied that her spouse had brought her here. I asked how long they had been married for. She responded 5 1/2 years. I then asked what her husband did for a living. She replied, "ummmm, I do not have a husband, I have a wife." At first I thought she must be joking, but I held my tongue. Nope, she was not joking. In fact, towards the end of the shift she showed me pictures on her camera phone from when they got married.

After the whole experience, I decided the following things:

1. I know plenty of gay/lesbian people, and I really could care less. So, it really does not matter to me whether she is lesbian or not. I found her to be a nice person and it was not too bad to hang out with her for the day......
2. However, I wish I would have known that she was lesbian before I gave the guy in the warehouse a hard time about San Francisco and man love. I never cease to amaze myself with just how many times I can actually shove my size 15 foot in my mouth. I must have a mouth like Elastagirl from "The Incredibles" or something.
3. Finding out she was lesbian was actually reassuring. It eased my mind for the awkwardness from any significant other, and did not make me feel quite so nervous.
4. I am really a people person, but I think I like my alone time in the van far more than I really realize.
5. Not all lesbians are really unattractive as I previously thought. I am not saying that I was mesmerized by this women's beauty or anything, but she was a far cry from any lesbian I have personally known before.
6. Windshield wipers that bend and break in a down pour are not at all cool, especially when I am planning on a sunny day and have to get out to fix said windshield wipers.
7. Driving all around up and around Heber is pretty sweet. If only every day included a relaxing drive such as that.
8. Lesbians often drive really nice trucks......I wish I had a really nice truck. I guess they also drive a ton of Subaru wagons, so maybe I should not let my envy get the best of me.
9. This one I may have known deep down for a while, but I can now admit it freely. I am a lesbian. Yes, it's true! I am attracted only to females, and since that seems to be the main criteria, I must declare to the world that "I AM A LESBIAN!" ---now I wonder if I can march in those lesbian pride parades with all of the other people.
10. I apparently can spell "gigolo" correctly, because the spell checker did not flag it as incorrect.
11. There is something about riding around with a person who shares the same first name as your x-wife that is really weird.

Toadally Fun

Today we went to the "Toadally Frogs" exhibit that is going on at the Utah Museum of Natural History. The first Monday of every month is free of charge to anyone who wants to go, so this seemed like the perfect day to go. We all had a lot of fun and learned a lot of interesting things about frogs and toads. We also looked at all the Dinosaur, Native American, and mining stuff. It was fun AND free. Tell me anyone who doesn't think those two words together are music to their ears.

Here the kids are pulling some sweet faces in the middle of a fish tank

The kids loved to hear the different sounds that Kermit makes

Come on! Someone just pucker up and kiss the frog prince already!
I keep telling them not to put their hands near a dinosaur's mouth, but do they listen? NOOOOO!
Tinkerbell uncovering a dinosaur bone with this little boy who followed her everywhere

McQueen was quite the little brusher. He uncovered a couple of bones pretty quickly.

I Cannot Tell A Lie!

One of these.............can quickly fill one of these

THE CHERRY TREE

"I cannot tell a lie, it was I who chopped down the cherry tree." Okay, I am not really lying, but I must clarify. First of all it was two cherry trees and one other smaller tree. They had already been badly damaged by time and mother nature. Second, I used a chain saw, therefore there was no chopping involved. Incidentally, it must've been nice when the childhood chopping of a tree pretty much summed up the "skeletons in the closet" of a politician, but I digress. The kids thought it was pretty cool to watch that chain saw in action. I of course (like any non-metro sexual man) love to pull out the power tools every once in a while. I even kept most of the trees by cutting them into fire wood. Although cherry wood is really strong, the chain saw made for light work. The kids were great helpers the whole time. They loved to help load the trailer.

THE POOL

One of our sweet neighbors actually GAVE us this pool! It was brand new in the box, and look it at: It is HUGE! This has to be one of the biggest blow up pools I have ever seen! It even has a couch! The kids had a blast! They played in it for hours while I kept working in the yard. It was alot of fun, and a completely unexpected, VERY generous gift.

FROZEN CUSTARD

After dinner, we were going to go up the canyon, build a fire, and make s'mores. It started to sprinkle and looked like heavier rain was possible. Instead of the s'mores, we played numerous games of "Go Fish" and "Snap!," and then we went to the best frozen custard place ever (okay so it is really the ONLY frozen custard place I know of, but that shouldn't change anything)! It is the best! The kids loved it, and I was really surprised when they told me that I have never taken them there before. How could I deprive my kids for five long years? I go there after almost every Priesthood Session of General Conference, and here they have been doing without. It almost seems criminal.........almost. The real criminal thing is if I hadn't been there for five years!

This happened when Tinkerbell set her spoon in her (not so frozen) custard, and it splattered everywhere

• We were watching home videos of the kids on the computer the other day. One of the videos we watched was a Christmas one of the kids opening presents. As we watched McQueen open a present, he said, "look, I was strong that day!"
• My sister loves to have fun with the kids and tease them. They also love every minute of it. A week or so ago she had to go to New York for work. When the kids asked if they were going to see her, I explained that she was in New York for work. McQueen and Tinkerbell said, "oh, is there a lot of toilets she has to clean there?" Apparently she had jokingly told them that she just cleans lots of toilets everyday for work, even though she has a much better position. The kids must not have figured out that she was joking that day.
• The kids were playing with some cars in church on Sunday. Tinkerbell kept moving McQueen's car off of one spot. At first he was annoyed. Then he pushed a button that slides out these pretend saws from the bottom of the car. He then said, "if you move my hand off of here one more time, I am afraid I will have no choice but to really cut your car in half!"
• Just when I think my kids never listen to anything in Sacrament meeting, I get surprised. A return missionary was relating a story from his mission. He explained that one of the people he was teaching was a heavy smoker. Out of nowhere, McQueen piped up and in a very clear, disgusted, loud voice said, "OHH, I HATE smoking!"
• I was asking McQueen what music he wanted to listen to at bed time last night. He would not tell me, so I resorted to guessing. When I guessed what I thought he would want to listen to, he calmly shook his head and said, "GO FISH!"
• McQueen really needed to eat because of his hypoglycemia. He didn't want to eat, and wanted to know why I was asking him to, so I told him. He said, "DAD! Why do I have to have TWO things. When is my asthma going to get better then? I hate having TWO things!"
• McQueen was eating a fudge bar yesterday. My sister was here, hanging out. Just to tease him, she said, "hey, give me some of that, I want some." McQueen casually said, "sorry, can't share, I have asthma," while smiling the whole time.

The Miss Piggy Flu

Anyone reading this may not know what the "Miss Piggy Flu" is. That is my own special name for the H1N1 virus, or the swine flu. Have I contracted it? No. Besides, even if I was heavily exposed to it, my body would just think it was strep throat anyway. If you have no idea what I am talking about, you either don't know me well, or haven't been reading the blog long....or both. Today I went to work and they informed me that since I had been fitted for my own respirator, that I was to see our very first miss piggy flu patient. Let me tell you how much the excitement overwhelmed me: anyone hear crickets chirping? Anyway, I reminded them that the respirator only truly seals if the person is freshly shaven, and I did not shave this morning. I told them that if they wanted me to see this patient, they would have to send me en route to my house to shave. I further told them that if she coughed once while I was there, they would have to pay for me to stop back home to shower afterwards. This is on top of being triple gloved, wearing a full gown and booties, and my special respirator. My manager agreed, but I think it was only after I asked him if he wanted to come with me.

After shaving at home, I called the patient. I told them that I was headed there and that she was reported to have contracted the swine flu. She said, "yeah, but I barely have it anymore. My biggest problem now is the pneumonia that I have contracted." Excuse me, pneumonia too? Oh, happy day, I can't wait. Maybe when I get done, I could have an unprotected evening with a street walker on state street. I mean enough already! Why does everyone hate me so?!! Also, lady, you either have the miss piggy flu or you don't. There is no "barely" have it on the scale. I told her that because of our policies in maintaining all of our patients health, I would be coming in full protective gear. She annoying said, "that is fine."

Waaaaaay too quickly I was parked in front of her home. I took my sweet time getting on one set of gloves. Then I put on my gown and tightly fastened the velcro. I then put on the booties, and another two sets of gloves. I then fitted my respirator around my fat little face. I was ready for battle against miss piggy and all of her H1N1 demons........as well as the bacterial pneumonia! I hoped to demonstrate the equipment as much as possible, outside, on the porch. Apparently this woman was confined to bed, so I was not so lucky. I was very polite as I demonstrated all of the equipment, even though my head was counting the seconds I had been in her home. While she didn't say much about it, she seemed REALLY annoyed that I would wear all of the stuff in her house. At one point she told me that I would just have to wait and explain all of this stuff to her son. She said, "you can wait outside if you are so scared." I explained that I would go ahead and wait outside. I then told her that the reason we take so many precautions is that we can not afford to jeopardize the health of other patients, particularly with so many immune-compromised patients on our service. She said, "I understand, it just seems like a little much." I sort of left it at that in our conversation. The people chatting inside my head were saying, "clearly you don't understand lady, or you would NOT think that it was a little much. Also, while I don't think I would really DIE of the miss piggy flu, nothing about being sick for 3 weeks, and making my family and people around me sick sounds really awesome to me. But, that is just the FREAKS talking inside my head. What do they know? Finally, after about 20 minutes my ordeal was over. I carefully put all of the items, including my clipboard and pen into a bio hazard bag, and said a silent prayer that I would never have to do this again. I also said a little prayer that all of the protective gear worked well and that I too will not fall subject to miss piggy. I found out later that the reason I was chosen as the first to receive the respirator is because I am almost always (except today) clean shaven. Looks like it is time to grow a Brigham Young style beard...........OR.......hope that next time I can go to a patient with active tuberculosis or something! I can't believe more people are not jealous of me, I live the life! In the end, it is fine. I am sure I did not contract the miss piggy flu. Now, if only I could figure out why I have been snorting like a pig half the day, my life would be perfect.

IN OTHER WEIRD MEDICAL HAPPENINGS.......

• I went to Taco Bell on Tuesday. I ordered my food from a seemingly normal woman in her early 40s. After I got my food and was headed out the door, she asked me if I worked in home health care. Again the people in my head wanted to say one of two things: 1. "No, I just really like their shirts and badges" or 2. "No, this is just a Halloween costume." Of course, I wasn't smart enough to actually say those things and get out of the conversation. When I said yes, she went in to this huge story about how she messed up her knee. I thought she was going to say something about how it was so great having a home health care worker to assist her in her time of need. NOPE! She told me how it led to her getting a DUI. She even told me that she passed the breathalyzer test and the blood test, but they still gave her a DUI. THEN! the same officer would always come to Taco Bell and ask her for free drinks. So, let me get this straight. You passed all the legal tests, yet the still gave you a DUI. I didn't think that was possible, but OKAY. Then the officer who threw the book at you and DIDN'T help you out in any way, is asking for free drinks? HMMMMM..... I shouldn't judge, but maybe someone needs to lay off the sauce when they are at work too! I don't know why they would ever give a DUI to her, but more importantly, I still have no idea what the point of her story was. I am sure it has some deep philosophical meaning, it will just take me a long time to decipher the code.


• The other day I had a quick stop where I only had to replenish the IV medicine for a patient who has been on our service for quite some time. As I was getting the things out of the cooler (like I have with her a million times before) she said, "No, no! Come in to give it to me." All of these damn Mormons see you with a cooler and think they have to bring me a meal or something." I tried to joke around by saying, "ah, they are not very good cooks, huh?" She said, "no, all of their food is great, but it also makes me fat!" Three things stood out to me in this situation: #1- I am a "damn Mormon," at least....I think. #2 The medicine this woman is taking is a substance to promote weight gain. She takes it because her body does not maintain her weight on its own. So, my simple brain wonders how exactly their food makes her fat? I mean do they infuse it with some special "damn Mormon" sauce? Wait, I know. She is referencing the scripture about the soul delighting in fatness. Sorry, it just took me a minute. By the way, YES, she was serious! #3-I don't think that my little cooler with medicine is the giveaway for the neighbors. I doubt it, but it might be the enormous van that is plastered like a billboard with its blinkers on parked in front of your house the whole time I am here. But, then again, what do I know?