Last Thursday my boss came to me to inform me that I would spend the next couple of months training the new employee who would start the following Tuesday (today). I said, alright, that is fine. I will teach them everything I know, and then if they do the exact opposite, they should know this job perfectly! As the conversation went on, he informed me that they had hired a woman. At this point I had some serious reservations. I asked if she was married. He said, he didn't know because he was not allowed to ask that. I told him that I am not sure I feel comfortable driving all over the state with another woman who I do not know from Adam. I don't feel that I am going to do anything wrong, but the whole thing just makes me very uncomfortable. He tried really hard to assure me........and.......was COMPLETELY unsuccessful. Now, fast-forward to the present. Today is the day that I meet her. She seems nice. I show her all around the warehouse and explain some things to her. While we are going around through the warehouse we meet this particular, single co-worker of mine. He is a great guy, but can be hilarious at times. Let's just say that he seems to be more interested in the new women employees more than the men. So, she stated that she was from California. He started to go into a spiel about how he worked in San Francisco for a while. Just to mess with him (and shew him away), I said, "oh is that when you were a gay male gigolo because you just couldn't get enough of that sweet man love? You only charged each client like a nickel or something, right?" He didn't think it was nearly as funny as everyone else for some reason, but he is a good sport and thought it was somewhat funny nonetheless. Eventually, I am driving in the van with the new girl to
Heber to do some work. As we are driving, we are making small talk. I asked her what brought her from California to Utah. She replied that her spouse had brought her here. I asked how long they had been married for. She responded 5 1/2 years. I then asked what her husband did for a living. She replied, "
ummmm, I do not have a husband, I have a wife." At first I thought she must be joking, but I held my tongue. Nope, she was not joking. In fact, towards the end of the shift she showed me pictures on her camera phone from when they got married.
After the whole experience, I decided the following things:
- I know plenty of gay/lesbian people, and I really could care less. So, it really does not matter to me whether she is lesbian or not. I found her to be a nice person and it was not too bad to hang out with her for the day......
- However, I wish I would have known that she was lesbian before I gave the guy in the warehouse a hard time about San Francisco and man love. I never cease to amaze myself with just how many times I can actually shove my size 15 foot in my mouth. I must have a mouth like Elastagirl from "The Incredibles" or something.
- Finding out she was lesbian was actually reassuring. It eased my mind for the awkwardness from any significant other, and did not make me feel quite so nervous.
- I am really a people person, but I think I like my alone time in the van far more than I really realize.
- Not all lesbians are really unattractive as I previously thought. I am not saying that I was mesmerized by this women's beauty or anything, but she was a far cry from any lesbian I have personally known before.
- Windshield wipers that bend and break in a down pour are not at all cool, especially when I am planning on a sunny day and have to get out to fix said windshield wipers.
- Driving all around up and around Heber is pretty sweet. If only every day included a relaxing drive such as that.
- Lesbians often drive really nice trucks......I wish I had a really nice truck. I guess they also drive a ton of Subaru wagons, so maybe I should not let my envy get the best of me.
- This one I may have known deep down for a while, but I can now admit it freely. I am a lesbian. Yes, it's true! I am attracted only to females, and since that seems to be the main criteria, I must declare to the world that "I AM A LESBIAN!" ---now I wonder if I can march in those lesbian pride parades with all of the other people.
- I apparently can spell "gigolo" correctly, because the spell checker did not flag it as incorrect.
- There is something about riding around with a person who shares the same first name as your x-wife that is really weird.
