THE SITUATION: This would be a picture of some one's fence. I could not fit the whole thing on the frame of my camera phone, but as you can somewhat read, it says the following: "PLEASE Do Not Write." This is followed by some wanna be thug writing: "OK!"MY TAKE: Isn't the point of not wanting graffiti is that it makes your fence/property look trashy. I mean is it really what is written on it that is the problem? I am thinking it is more of an issue that it does not enhance the beauty and go with the surroundings of your property. Maybe that is just me. On the other hand, I can see a frustrated homeowner having enough and just finally declaring that it is his freaking fence and if anyone is going to tag it, by George, he is going to be the first!
EXAMPLE #2
THE SITUATION: As I was driving around for work, I noticed a lemonade stand. What was different about this lemonade stand is that it was by a local high school, and put on by that school's cheerleaders. The bigger thing I noticed is that there were all of these 30+ men pulled over, standing around the table, talking to the cheerleaders, and drinking lemonade.
MY TAKE: Why not just call it the pervert lemonade stand? I mean I would have taken a picture, but I couldn't because I was driving. I would have circled back, but then I could be considered one of them! I can only imagine what these losers were saying to these illegal teens. I came up with some possible conversation: "I know your boyfriend has a car, but I have two cars, a wife, three kids, two dogs, a mortgage, and twice as many years under my belt. Don't you think I am by far the better catch?" Or what were these girls thinking? "Dear Diary, today I met a bunch of guys my Dad's age. I know it is funny, but I thought his ten year old minivan and wing tipped shoes were sort of attractive. Does that make me weird?"
What do I really think? Here goes:
- Seriously cheerleader girls, a freaking lemonade stand? I mean come on, is that really profitable? What on earth were you thinking? Did your coach approve it, and better yet did your parents approve it? How would your Dad really feel, to know that possibly his co-workers or friends would be purchasing something from you on a street corner. I think any minor over the age of 12 selling lemonade on the street corner, may get too comfortable and sell other things on a street corner one day. I am just saying!
- Perverted forty year old men: GO HOME! You are the biggest whack jobs in society. Go home before we throw you on the sex offender's list. You shame every other, normal man alive!
- If you happen to be married to a decent man, do not treat him like a freak. Just because there are pervert freaks in our gender, does not make him one. Instead, hold him close and appreciate him for not being one of those losers.
EXAMPLE #3
Dear Guy in the green 4RUNNER on Tuesday night on I-215,
As you may remember from driver's education classes, it is okay for someone to pass you when you are going slow. Doing 60 mph in the fast lane at 9:30PM is usually frowned upon. It is perfectly natural for someone like me to want to pass you on the right when you will not move. A good indication that you are going too slow is when you see a minivan in your rear view mirror coming up quickly. It is not appropriate to swerve and cut them off when they can only pass you on the right. It is further not appropriate for you to give me the Hawaiian good luck sign with your middle finger after YOU have cut ME off. This practice is not only unacceptable, it is also illogical. While your bad driving can only be topped by your bad manners, I want to thank you. You see, every time some whack job like you does some weird, obscene thing, it only gives me blogging material. This behavior only causes me to laugh about what kind of weirdos we really have in the world, and how illogical their actions can be. So, thank you very much.
Sincerely,
Kent
P.S. I apologize if you were not really giving the Hawaiian good luck sign. If you swerved and then stuck your hand up to compare who has a bigger finger, I am sorry I misunderstood. Just so you know, I won that competition. When you stuck that puny finger in the air, I could barely make it out. My hands are way bigger then yours brother!
