Things have been sooooo weird today. Let me explain below:
Episode #1
Strangely enough, my day started in the morning. The previous day also ended this morning after going and seeing the new "Angels and Demons" movie, but I digress. As I do most mornings I showered and got ready for the day. I then ran around and gathered all my stuff for the day. As I was walking out the front door, I noticed a car parked in the street. I know what you may be thinking. A car? In the street and everything? But wait, there's more. There was a man sitting in it too! Behind the wheel! I watched this man for a moment from a safe distance. I then double checked to make sure the door on the house was locked. I started my car, and backed it slowly out the driveway. I then decided that the location this man had parked in was not a normal parking spot. Further, someone sitting in their car for a long time while it is parked is not "normal." I took down the man's license plate and a description of his vehicle. Then I decided it was now or never! I brazenly backed my vehicle out of the driveway, threw the vehicle into "D" (for daring) and inched the couple of feet up to his window. With my most stern, tough guy voice, I bellowed, "hey, how is it going? Is there someone I could help you find or are you are lost or something?" He suddenly stared back with a look of fear in his eyes (okay, he really DID seem to be scared diary, for reals). He then said, "no man, I am good, I was waiting for a buddy to call me about some work, but I was just leaving, I am totally out of here." Exact words diary, I kid you not! He then raced away about as fast as he could. I am sure he had NO bad intentions whatsoever! I would scoff at anyone were they to suggest otherwise. I mean the fact that he was sitting in a random spot, was trying to lie low, was as freaked out as he could possibly be when I approached him, etc......means absolutely nothing! Besides, he may have just been freaked out because I made the "Large Marge" face from the movie "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" when I talked to him. Let's just pretend that I kept my house or one of the neighbors from being robbed today, to make me feel special, okay diary?
Episode #2
At my work there are three or so black cats. Diary I am sorry, but I do not care for cats in the least! It doesn't help that I am also allergic. Any vehicle I am driving seems to flirt with having an alignment problem when a cat enters any roadway I am traversing. So, I guess one of these cats has had kittens. So, today there was a woman at work who was trying to catch Mama cat and all her little kittens and take them to a vet, or the Humane Society or something to make sure they are in good health. Someone asked her why she cared so much about the stupid cats (that person was NOT me diary, even if I was thinking it all the while). She expressed her concern about their well-being. She then went on to say that she had three cats of her own. She told everyone how her cats saved her life on more then one occasion, yet failed to mention how. I mean, I KNOW (from many past experiences) that you can't die from a lack of dating diary, so I would like to know how exactly the cats saved her life! She said that cats are her favorite things on the entire planet and that they are her favorite animals. She said just how much she loves them. Just then.........A SHOCKER! This woman announced that she really doesn't just have 3 cats.......she has 10! I feel like I had been watching a soap opera and we just all found out that the real father of the baby was Dr. Rosenrosen. Who would have seen this coming?!!!! Just as the suspense was building she announced that she was going to take them to the Humane Society. She then said that she didn't care if they put the cats to sleep, she just didn't want anyone to harm them in an inhumane way. WHAT?!!! Diary, I think this lady's cheese slid off her cracker. She loves cats that much and she doesn't care if they die as long as they die at the hands of Dr. Kevorkian instead of some OTHER weirdo? I can't understand why she can't take all 6 of the kittens and the 3 big cats to live at the "feline plantation" that she must currently have at home, but who I am to judge? Some mysteries we will never figure out diary.
Episode #3
Just when I thought the weirdness of the day was over, I drove around to see this!
Who are these heartless people? Why would they possibly want to starve poor families, who really just want to eat?!! Perhaps this is just the inflation I have been hearing about, but I can't take it anymore! Think of all the people who are going to starve to death in Ogden. How can prices drastically change so quickly?!! How can anyone afford ground beef at $189.00/pound. At least it's a family pack! Even worse diary: I can see in my mind hens everywhere laughing as humans struggle to pay the $500.00 for 3, 18 packs of eggs. I mean that works out to be about $167.00/package, OR $9.26/egg! Finally, I thought Idahoans and Utahns were close friends. Apparently it is just about the almighty buck with them! They have the nerve to charge $229.00 for a 10 lb. bag of potatoes. Who do they think they are? What kind of world are we living in. I will tell you the most strange thing of all diary. The only place that seemed to have any decimal points on their prices in that WHOLE city were the gas stations. All I am saying is that we had better just keep this between you and I. If the terrorists in the middle east found out how much profit they were losing by allowing decimal points on the prices at the gas station, they would go berserk! I know ALL my secrets are safe with you diary. Good night for now.
